My first experience with a homeless shelter was in Florida. It's on some property that was donated to Dade County after a hurricane destroyed a lot to the Air Force Base.
Anyway, I arrived the first day at the shelter and like everyone else who arrived there, we had to sit in chairs and wait. We waited for things like assessments to see what are needs are, medical, dental, optical, etc...
I felt like a was cattle being pushed through to the slaughter house. The people running things didn't care to get to know the person they were supposed to be helping, it felt like all they cared about was how many people could they get into the shelter that day. Like they got a prize for getting the most people signed up.
As I went through the process, I noticed that most of the employees didn't care what brought you to the streets, they didn't care what you were about, and I am guessing they really didn't care if you succeeded in life again or not. The way they would snap at people to hurry up, don't do this, don't do that, etc.. It was very frusterating.
When they finally did show that they cared about something it was when they went over the rules of the shelter. They were very passionate about this. And they made it abundantly clear, you fuck up once, you get a warning, fuck up twice, you are gone.
So I got through the process, go my bed in a room with about 75 other men. We all got a bunk. Each of us got one locker by our bunk, but we weren't given a lock. You had to buy your own, so if you put anything in there during the day without a lock, it was your own fault if it got stolen. They made it clear they weren't responsible for our belongings.
We had a huge community bathroom, which I absolutely hated but dealt with. 75 men with 15 sinks, toilets and urinals. There was probably 40 shower heads in one huge shower room. The shower situation was really hard for me to deal with, I am very scared to show my body to anyone, and I sure was terrified to show my naked self to a bunch of men I didn't know.
Breakfast was at 6am, we were all woke up at 5am to start our day, we had to be completely outta the bunkroom by 8am. By 9am if you weren't able to go out and look for work each day, you had to stay inside the facility and take classes. The classes ranged from balancing a checkbook to wiping your ass. Well, maybe not wiping your ass, but it sure seemed like they thought we didn't know how to do anything and that we needed a class to teach us every detail of life.
Also, you had to volunteer so many hours a day if you weren't out looking for work, I chose to work in the kitchen each morning. It got me extra food, and better tasting food, so that was the only real highlight of the day for me. Getting extra bacon.
I met a lot of other homeless people while I was there, a lot of them just told me to fuck off and not to talk to them. Some were very racist and told me that white boy needed to mind his own fucking business or that I would get hurt.
A few that I met were nice, I met one guy from Minnesota, that became homeless because he lost his leg in a traffic accident and had to take too much time off of work. He received disability while he was in the shelter, and he was primarily using the shelter as a way to save money so he could get back out on his own. Him and I became decent friends in the shelter, and then after a few weeks, he was gone, he moved on to his own place.
After he left I basically shut myself off to the world and this was the beginning of me hating the world. Up until that first week of meeting my Ziploc Girl.
April 3, 2012
April 2, 2012
Gays
One thing that bothered me a lot while I was homeless was the constant pressure of the gay men looking for male prostitutes. There is a park in Fort Lauderdale, that is well know for gay men to go to and look for male prostitutes each day.
When I first came to Fort Lauderdale, I had no idea what went on inside of this park. One day I was sitting on a bench in the park and I was approached by a man, at the time I had no idea he was gay. And he asked me if I was from around the area, and other small talk.
Anyway, he then asked me if I was into men? At which point I told him no, and I walked away. I guess he thought I was playing hard to get or something, because he followed me all over the park. Finally I told him to fuck off and he got the message.
The very next day I was sitting in the park again eating food that was given to us by one of the local church groups. And another man came to me and asked me if I wanted to party? Out of dumb curiosity I asked what he meant, and he told me, get high on crack, and have sex all day. Hell no! I got up and walked away.
I avoided the park for a few weeks, and started realizing that not only was the gay guys trolling the park, but when I would be sitting at a bus bench waiting for a bus, they would slowly drive by, roll down their window and smile or flash money at me. One guy went as far as throwing a business card with a $50 bill paper clipped to it at me. I took the money, dropped the card and had a really nice meal on him, thanks sucker.
I am not againts gays. I am however against being pressured by gays to have sex or do drugs just because I was homeless. There isn't any amount of money that a gay man could throw at me that would persuade me to have sex with him.
When I first came to Fort Lauderdale, I had no idea what went on inside of this park. One day I was sitting on a bench in the park and I was approached by a man, at the time I had no idea he was gay. And he asked me if I was from around the area, and other small talk.
Anyway, he then asked me if I was into men? At which point I told him no, and I walked away. I guess he thought I was playing hard to get or something, because he followed me all over the park. Finally I told him to fuck off and he got the message.
The very next day I was sitting in the park again eating food that was given to us by one of the local church groups. And another man came to me and asked me if I wanted to party? Out of dumb curiosity I asked what he meant, and he told me, get high on crack, and have sex all day. Hell no! I got up and walked away.
I avoided the park for a few weeks, and started realizing that not only was the gay guys trolling the park, but when I would be sitting at a bus bench waiting for a bus, they would slowly drive by, roll down their window and smile or flash money at me. One guy went as far as throwing a business card with a $50 bill paper clipped to it at me. I took the money, dropped the card and had a really nice meal on him, thanks sucker.
I am not againts gays. I am however against being pressured by gays to have sex or do drugs just because I was homeless. There isn't any amount of money that a gay man could throw at me that would persuade me to have sex with him.
March 31, 2012
Beaten
One night in Louisville, I was walking back to my sleeping spot and I was stopped by 4 guys. Right then I knew I was in trouble. They shoved me to the ground and started to kick and punch me, I just curled up in a fetal position and let them beat on me. There was no way I would've been able to defend myself against them.
After about 2 minutes of being beat on they grabbed my backpack, my wallet and took my shoes. I just laid there unable to move. Someone came walking up the sidewalk a few minutes later and seen me. They called an ambulance and the police also arrived.
The next thing I remember was walking up in a hospital bed. I had a doctor telling me that I had been really lucky not to be in worse shape. He said I had 2 cracked ribs, and multiple bumps and bruises. Also my right eye was swollen shut.
I stayed at the hospital for 2 days, while they kept an eye on me to make sure I had no major head trauma and such. I never called my family the whole time I was there, because I didn't want to worry them, and I also knew that no one in my family would be able to go to Louisville from Michigan to see me. Besides what would be the point?
I will say that that night I got beat down and had all my stuff stolen from me including my shoes was one of the scariest nights of my life. What kind of asshole steals another man's shoes off of his feet?
The police took a report from me, and as far as I know nothing was ever done. Which really I didn't expect much to be done, I didn't really get a good look at any of them, and I was just glad to be alive really.
After about 2 minutes of being beat on they grabbed my backpack, my wallet and took my shoes. I just laid there unable to move. Someone came walking up the sidewalk a few minutes later and seen me. They called an ambulance and the police also arrived.
The next thing I remember was walking up in a hospital bed. I had a doctor telling me that I had been really lucky not to be in worse shape. He said I had 2 cracked ribs, and multiple bumps and bruises. Also my right eye was swollen shut.
I stayed at the hospital for 2 days, while they kept an eye on me to make sure I had no major head trauma and such. I never called my family the whole time I was there, because I didn't want to worry them, and I also knew that no one in my family would be able to go to Louisville from Michigan to see me. Besides what would be the point?
I will say that that night I got beat down and had all my stuff stolen from me including my shoes was one of the scariest nights of my life. What kind of asshole steals another man's shoes off of his feet?
The police took a report from me, and as far as I know nothing was ever done. Which really I didn't expect much to be done, I didn't really get a good look at any of them, and I was just glad to be alive really.
March 30, 2012
Casino
One of the things that my friend and I done in Louisville was go on a shuttle bus from Louisville to Evansville, Indiana every Friday night to a casino. We went on Friday night because they gave each person a $25 casino credit, and each person got a free buffet when they arrived by bus to the casino.
It was a long ride, about 2 hours one way to the casino, but it took up most of the night, we would leave Louisville at 7pm, arrive in Evansville at 9. We would leave at 2am and be back in Louisville around 4am. With $25 in our pocket.
I remember going there one time and taking a chance with my money and I ended up winning $215. That was like winning the lottery to me. That money fed me for about 2 weeks.
A lot of the time when we went there, my friend and I would leave and go walk around Evansville. I usually would buy a soda, and he opted for beer or other fine liquors. Generally he was shitfaced by the time we got back on the bus to head back to Louisville.
So thanks to the casino in Evansville for providing this formerly homeless person, $25 just about every weekend. It was much appreciated.
It was a long ride, about 2 hours one way to the casino, but it took up most of the night, we would leave Louisville at 7pm, arrive in Evansville at 9. We would leave at 2am and be back in Louisville around 4am. With $25 in our pocket.
I remember going there one time and taking a chance with my money and I ended up winning $215. That was like winning the lottery to me. That money fed me for about 2 weeks.
A lot of the time when we went there, my friend and I would leave and go walk around Evansville. I usually would buy a soda, and he opted for beer or other fine liquors. Generally he was shitfaced by the time we got back on the bus to head back to Louisville.
So thanks to the casino in Evansville for providing this formerly homeless person, $25 just about every weekend. It was much appreciated.
March 29, 2012
University of Louisville
I use to spend many hours hanging out on the University of Louisville campus. One of the places I hung out the most was the library. There were days that I would sit there from 7am until 12am. I mainly used the internet and played games to kill time.
There were times that I would go and find a chair in the library and fall asleep for 4-5 hours to try and catch up on the sleep that I was lacking from the night before. I done this a lot. It was peaceful and most people wouldn't even bother you since a lot of the students done the same thing.
One of the other things I use to do on the campus was walk around the buildings when classes were over looking for food to eat. I mainly looked through trash cans and sometimes I would sneak into offices and look in the refrigerators to see if there was any kind of food available. I wasn't proud of myself for doing this but at the time I just didn't give a shit about if I got in trouble or not.
There was a few times where it was so cold at night that I would go into one of the many buildings on the campus find a dark place to hide and I would sleep there until morning. I had a few close calls with people that came into clean the buildings, but I was never seen or caught inside of the building.
One of the places I use hit up all the time when I was hanging around the campus a lot was Papa Johns. I would go there to the dumpster and there was always fresh pizzas in boxes that had been tossed out. These pizzas fed me more times than I can count. I was very fortunate that I had this because there would've been a lot of times I would've went hungry without it.
I met a lot of other homeless people hanging around the campus, one guy that I met, we became pretty good friends and done pretty much everything together. He showed me where all the feeding sites were, he showed good places to hide and sleep at night. He also told me how the shelter system worked in the city. (I will tell you more about the shelters in Louisville later)
This new friend of mine introduced me to a restaurant called Mastersons. They were just off of the campus and every night we would go behind their building and they would have all the food they threw out from the buffet in the trash. They must've thrown way 30lbs of fried chicken every night. This became my hot meal each night. The food was usually still warm so it was nice to eat. Much better than cold pizza all the time.
When I wasn't with my friend, I would be wandering around the campus just trying to blend in. I done my best to keep clothes on that looked like something a student would wear, and I always wore the University of Louisville sweatshirt and hat that was given to me at a clothing place.
One of my other activities on the campus was going to the SAC (Student Activity Center). I would go to the back of the building inside and there was a television I would sit and watch during the off hours. I would catch up on the news and weather and then a lot of times fall asleep on the couch that was located by the television.
I spent about 10 months of my year or so in Louisville on the campus. For me it was a home. Lots of people around so I just blended in. Sometimes in a small small way I miss the campus.
There were times that I would go and find a chair in the library and fall asleep for 4-5 hours to try and catch up on the sleep that I was lacking from the night before. I done this a lot. It was peaceful and most people wouldn't even bother you since a lot of the students done the same thing.
One of the other things I use to do on the campus was walk around the buildings when classes were over looking for food to eat. I mainly looked through trash cans and sometimes I would sneak into offices and look in the refrigerators to see if there was any kind of food available. I wasn't proud of myself for doing this but at the time I just didn't give a shit about if I got in trouble or not.
There was a few times where it was so cold at night that I would go into one of the many buildings on the campus find a dark place to hide and I would sleep there until morning. I had a few close calls with people that came into clean the buildings, but I was never seen or caught inside of the building.
One of the places I use hit up all the time when I was hanging around the campus a lot was Papa Johns. I would go there to the dumpster and there was always fresh pizzas in boxes that had been tossed out. These pizzas fed me more times than I can count. I was very fortunate that I had this because there would've been a lot of times I would've went hungry without it.
I met a lot of other homeless people hanging around the campus, one guy that I met, we became pretty good friends and done pretty much everything together. He showed me where all the feeding sites were, he showed good places to hide and sleep at night. He also told me how the shelter system worked in the city. (I will tell you more about the shelters in Louisville later)
This new friend of mine introduced me to a restaurant called Mastersons. They were just off of the campus and every night we would go behind their building and they would have all the food they threw out from the buffet in the trash. They must've thrown way 30lbs of fried chicken every night. This became my hot meal each night. The food was usually still warm so it was nice to eat. Much better than cold pizza all the time.
When I wasn't with my friend, I would be wandering around the campus just trying to blend in. I done my best to keep clothes on that looked like something a student would wear, and I always wore the University of Louisville sweatshirt and hat that was given to me at a clothing place.
One of my other activities on the campus was going to the SAC (Student Activity Center). I would go to the back of the building inside and there was a television I would sit and watch during the off hours. I would catch up on the news and weather and then a lot of times fall asleep on the couch that was located by the television.
I spent about 10 months of my year or so in Louisville on the campus. For me it was a home. Lots of people around so I just blended in. Sometimes in a small small way I miss the campus.
March 28, 2012
Louisville
When I was in Louisville, Kentucky I spent about a year or so on the streets there also. There is a huge difference between Louisville and Fort Lauderdale though. The way the 2 cities treat the homeless are completely different.
In Louisville they almost embrace the homeless, where in Fort Lauderdale, they try to push them away and want to forget homeless people exist. Pretty shitty.
My first week in Louisville, it was mid January, so it was pretty darn cold up there. I remember that I was wandering around about 4am looking for a place to sleep, and I came upon a park in the city (Central Park). Well I wander around the park looking for a place to sleep and the first thing I seen was an outdoor stage but it was in no way a place to sleep, there was cover but it was open window and doorways, the wind could blow right through it.
I continued looking around and found that the bathrooms were left unlocked at night and when I opened the door, the bathroom was heated and I was alone, so I put my blanket down on the floor and laid down. I was so happy to find a warm place for the night to sleep. I just got to sleep when I heard the door bang open, I looked up and seen 2 Louisville cops standing there. I hurried up and got my wallet to show them my ID and the one cop looked at me and told me to relax.
He said they just seen me enter the bathroom and wanted to make sure I had blankets that I was ok. I was shocked, in Fort Lauderdale, they would've kicked me out or arrested me for trespassing. They gave me an extra blanket and a gift card to McDonald's and told me good luck, they also explained to me where to go to get a warm shower, food and any clothing that I may need.
They left and I went back to sleep, later on the maintenance lady opened the door to clean, she was like rise and shine time to go. So I got up to leave and she shook my hand and slipped me $5. Told me good luck. And that I was welcome to stay in that bathroom as much as I needed to as long as I kept my trash picked up when I left each morning.
This was my first real experience being homeless in Louisville, and I have a lot more to share, so stick around.
In Louisville they almost embrace the homeless, where in Fort Lauderdale, they try to push them away and want to forget homeless people exist. Pretty shitty.
My first week in Louisville, it was mid January, so it was pretty darn cold up there. I remember that I was wandering around about 4am looking for a place to sleep, and I came upon a park in the city (Central Park). Well I wander around the park looking for a place to sleep and the first thing I seen was an outdoor stage but it was in no way a place to sleep, there was cover but it was open window and doorways, the wind could blow right through it.
I continued looking around and found that the bathrooms were left unlocked at night and when I opened the door, the bathroom was heated and I was alone, so I put my blanket down on the floor and laid down. I was so happy to find a warm place for the night to sleep. I just got to sleep when I heard the door bang open, I looked up and seen 2 Louisville cops standing there. I hurried up and got my wallet to show them my ID and the one cop looked at me and told me to relax.
He said they just seen me enter the bathroom and wanted to make sure I had blankets that I was ok. I was shocked, in Fort Lauderdale, they would've kicked me out or arrested me for trespassing. They gave me an extra blanket and a gift card to McDonald's and told me good luck, they also explained to me where to go to get a warm shower, food and any clothing that I may need.
They left and I went back to sleep, later on the maintenance lady opened the door to clean, she was like rise and shine time to go. So I got up to leave and she shook my hand and slipped me $5. Told me good luck. And that I was welcome to stay in that bathroom as much as I needed to as long as I kept my trash picked up when I left each morning.
This was my first real experience being homeless in Louisville, and I have a lot more to share, so stick around.
March 27, 2012
Wanna Get High?
When I was homeless I was always being pressured to use drugs, and drink booze with the crowd. Somehow I managed to keep away from all of that bullshit. It wasn't easy, there were a lot of people who continuously offered it to me.
It seemed like almost everyday I had a person coming up to me asking me if I wanted to smoke pot, do some crack, drink a beer, down some pills, you name it it was offered. My biggest question was if people are so fucking broke and on the street, how the hell do you continue to support your drug habit? And then the answer hit me, they either scam people outta money or steal things to sell for their drugs.
I was on the street about 5-6 years, and in that time, I never once had the desire to drink or do drugs. I could never understand the desire to get high or drunk and look like more of a bum.
Anyway, I am glad I stayed away from the drugs and booze.
It seemed like almost everyday I had a person coming up to me asking me if I wanted to smoke pot, do some crack, drink a beer, down some pills, you name it it was offered. My biggest question was if people are so fucking broke and on the street, how the hell do you continue to support your drug habit? And then the answer hit me, they either scam people outta money or steal things to sell for their drugs.
I was on the street about 5-6 years, and in that time, I never once had the desire to drink or do drugs. I could never understand the desire to get high or drunk and look like more of a bum.
Anyway, I am glad I stayed away from the drugs and booze.
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