Okay, So I suppose I am : shy, weird, socially inept, awkward, etc. I have social anxiety and always blank out when people talk to me.
And, I always think of the worst situation that could happen at any given moment anywhere in public where there's people around.
I hate being around people I don't know. I don't know if they'll judge me, just hurt me emotionally, or leave me mentally confused.
I dig deep into detail about people's emotions, thoughts, feelings, communication.... I just don't know about the what if's...
It's killing me socially! I cannot impress potential employers because of this and cannot make a single friend in person.
It's like the only way for me to have ANY social interaction is to use the internet - where I am not bombarded by faces and minds who wait to see what I will say or do next. I have my own time here to type down my thoughts and feelings without being interrupted or being waited on impatiently.
I hate the feeling of being judged in any way that would give any negativity and I cannot deal or handle situations where I am "put on the spot".
Thus, my friend and Mom think that I'm just being dumb by not doing the right thing. They don't understand, because they're not like me.
Anything I do is blamed on me for not doing the correct way of doing things by being socially comfortable or accepting those surrounding me.
I was fine for months not realizing I haven't even gone out to do anything, but my friend reminded me that people think there's something wrong with me and they ask him about it. Also, it's happened to my mom whenever she goes to places with me, people will ask her if something's the matter with me or whatnot. This has been happening ever since I could remember. I am very shy... cannot express myself when I'm around people whom I don't know..
I am very tired of this all and feel like the only way for me to have a social "living" is to be online forever. I'm so introverted, shy, and socially awkward.
I totally get what you're saying. At the same time, I have enjoyed every 1:1 conversation I've had with you. You are personable and engaging. Intelligent and witty. I have never found you awkward in person. I consider you a friend.
ReplyDeleteHi Joe ... We don't know each other, but a mutual friend turned me on to your blog and I've been reading it ever since. Because of what I've read on your blog, I look at homeless people differently. I thought you'd like to know what that has caused me to do ... There is a homeless guy who sometimes sleeps in a covered area in the back of my office building. Since I come to work early, I see him - just sleeping under a blanket with some stuff around him. Since reading your blog, I started grabbing a couple protein bars and a bottle of water and taking it to him. He usually wakes up for a minute when I get close - and the first time I just said "It's cool, I'm just delivering breakfast." But now he knows me and I say "Just me. Good morning." He always thanks me sincerely. This doesn't happen every day or anything - and in fact he hasn't been there for a couple weeks so maybe he moved on. I just wanted you to know that your blog has made an impact out there.
ReplyDeleteHi Joe ... We don't know each other, but a mutual friend turned me on to your blog and I've been reading it ever since. Because of what I've read on your blog, I look at homeless people differently. I thought you'd like to know what that has caused me to do ... There is a homeless guy who sometimes sleeps in a covered area in the back of my office building. Since I come to work early, I see him - just sleeping under a blanket with some stuff around him. Since reading your blog, I started grabbing a couple protein bars and a bottle of water and taking it to him. He usually wakes up for a minute when I get close - and the first time I said "It's cool, I'm just delivering breakfast." But now he knows me and I say "Just me. Good morning." He always thanks me sincerely. This doesn't happen every day or anything - and in fact he hasn't been there for a couple weeks so maybe he moved on. I just wanted you to know that your blog has made an impact out there.
ReplyDelete